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Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life Kindle Edition

by Susan David (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

4.6 3,746 ratings

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#1 Wall Street Journal Best Seller
Winner of the Thinkers50 Breakthrough Idea Award
Amazon Best Book of the Year
Forbes Recommended Books for Leaders
TED Talk sensation—over 12 million views!

The counterintuitive approach to achieving your true potential, heralded by the Harvard Business Review as a groundbreaking idea of the year.

The path to personal and professional fulfillment is rarely straight. Ask anyone who has achieved his or her biggest goals or whose relationships thrive and you’ll hear stories of many unexpected detours along the way. What separates those who master these challenges and those who get derailed? The answer is agility—emotional agility.

Emotional agility is a revolutionary, science-based approach that allows us to navigate life’s twists and turns with self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind. Renowned psychologist Susan David developed this concept after studying emotions, happiness, and achievement for more than twenty years. She found that no matter how intelligent or creative people are, or what type of personality they have, it is how they navigate their inner world—their thoughts, feelings, and self-talk—that ultimately determines how successful they will become.

The way we respond to these internal experiences drives our actions, careers, relationships, happiness, health—everything that matters in our lives. As humans, we are all prone to common hooks—things like self-doubt, shame, sadness, fear, or anger—that can too easily steer us in the wrong direction. Emotionally agile people are not immune to stresses and setbacks. The key difference is that they know how to adapt, aligning their actions with their values and making small but powerful changes that lead to a lifetime of growth. Emotional agility is not about ignoring difficult emotions and thoughts; it’s about holding them loosely, facing them courageously and compassionately, and then moving past them to bring the best of yourself forward.

Drawing on her deep research, decades of international consulting, and her own experience overcoming adversity after losing her father at a young age, David shows how anyone can thrive in an uncertain world by becoming more emotionally agile. To guide us, she shares four key concepts that allow us to acknowledge uncomfortable experiences while simultaneously detaching from them, thereby allowing us to embrace our core values and adjust our actions so they can move us where we truly want to go.

Written with authority, wit, and empathy, Emotional Agility serves as a road map for real behavioral change—a new way of acting that will help you reach your full potential, whoever you are and whatever you face.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Strategy + Business Best Leadership Books
Winner of the Thinkers50 Breakthrough Idea Award
Winner of the Books for a Better Life Award in Psychology
Axiom Business Book Awards Medalist
800-CEO-READ Editors' Choice
Forbes.com Recommended Books for Creative Leaders
Facebook #ReadtoLead Selection
LinkedIn's 12 Books on Leadership to Read

“I’ve got a flagged, dog-eared, Post-it-ed [version of] Susan David’s incredible book.”
-Brené Brown

“Susan David teaches us to understand—and to communicate in—the unspoken language of emotion to better align how we feel with what we do. Essential reading.”
—Susan Cain, New York Times-bestselling author of Quiet and Bittersweet

“It’s one thing to feel an emotion—it’s another to gain control over it. Susan David acknowledges the benefits of sadness, anger, guilt, and fear, and then shows us how to make sure they don’t take over our lives. This is a self-help book that might actually help.”
—Adam Grant, New York Times-bestselling author of Originals, Give and Take, and Think Again

“Emotional agility is the new currency for leading successfully.”
-Thinkers50

“A powerful book on embracing your core values, being more decisive, and committing to meaningful change.”
–Forbes.com

“Emotional Agility is filled with advice on how to live in the moment, cultivate a healthy awareness of your emotions, learn to identify what those emotions are telling you, respond to your feelings in ways that will serve you, and recognize your inherent values and goals — not only in your personal life, but also in relationships, in the workplace, and as a parent.”
–Bustle

“Susan David is a leading authority on how our thoughts, emotions, and motives can empower or derail us. Her work combines compelling research, an engaging style, and practical wisdom to show people how to create meaningful change in their lives in order to thrive.”
—Peter Salovey, president, Yale University

“One of the keys to a happy life is knowing yourself. In Emotional Agility, Susan David offers us a groundbreaking way to recognize our feelings and gives us the tools we need to avoid the emotional ruts that keep us from reaching our bigger goals. This book is a revelation for anyone looking to make lasting change in their life.”
—Gretchen Rubin, New York Times-bestselling author of The Happiness Project

“The wisdom of the author’s innovative insights is only made more impressive by its practicality. Her deep understanding of psychology is matched with clear, real-world steps to more effective leadership.”
—Helen Clark, 37th Prime Minister of New Zealand

“David proves here that no one trait is more indicative of success than the ability to collaborate gracefully with your own emotions. Learning how is the difference between a fight and a dance!”
—Marshall Goldsmith, New York Times-bestselling author of Triggers

“A compelling, inspirational, and original book about how to bring out the best in ourselves. Combining robust science, practical advice, and encouraging wisdom, Emotional Agility is a must-read.”
—Pat Mitchell, Board Chair, Sundance Institute and Editorial Director, TEDWomen

“An accessible, reader-friendly voyage. Emotional Agility can be helpful to anyone.”
—Daniel Goleman, New York Times-bestselling author of Emotional Intelligence

“At a time when it’s more difficult than ever to silence the unending noise that surrounds us, along comes Emotional Agility, a practical, science-backed guide to looking inward and living intentionally. By urging us to work with – not against – our own emotions, Susan David gives us the tools we need to be more adaptable and more resilient, so that we may not only succeed but truly thrive.”
—Arianna Huffington, Founder of Thrive Global and New York Times-bestselling author of The Sleep Revolution

About the Author

Susan David, Ph.D., is a psychologist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School; cofounder and codirector of the Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital; and CEO of Evidence Based Psychology, a boutique business consultancy. An in-demand speaker and advisor, David has worked with the senior leadership of hundreds of major organizations, including the United Nations, Ernst & Young, and the World Economic Forum. Her work has been featured in numerous publications, including Harvard Business Review, Time, Fast Company, and The Wall Street Journal. Originally from South Africa, she lives outside Boston with her family.

From the Hardcover edition.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B016JPTPDW
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Avery (September 6, 2016)
Publication date ‏ : ‎ September 6, 2016
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 2402 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
Print length ‏ : ‎ 281 pages

Best Sellers Rank: #109,945 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #40 in Applied Psychology
- #41 in Psychology of Personalities
- #123 in Popular Applied Psychology

Customer Reviews:
4.6 3,746 ratings

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Susan David, PhD, is a psychologist on faculty at Harvard Medical School, co-founder and co-director of the Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital, and CEO of Evidence Based Psychology. An in-demand speaker and consultant, David has worked with senior leadership of hundreds of major organizations, including the United Nations, Ernst & Young, and the World Economic Forum. Her work has been featured in numerous leading publications, including the Harvard Business Review, Time, Fast Company, and the Wall Street Journal. Originally from South Africa, she lives outside of Boston with her family.

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primeshopper44

A Must Read

Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2024

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In a world with increasing polarization, what can we control? Ourselves! Digging in to what we most value can serve as a North Star, and as Dr David describes, enable us to develop emotional agility, which provides increasing amounts of clarity and peace as we master it.

Read this as a “book club” with a family member and we discussed our reading weekly. So many insights and, more importantly, ways forward to live a more fulfilling life - as we each defined it for ourselves.

Thank you to the author!

One person found this helpful

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Mica L.

Not just a book; an ongoing resource for emotional health, agility, and maintenance!

Reviewed in the United States on March 11, 2022

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My wife and I have both read this book and/or listened to it on Audible multiple times. In our opinion, Dr. David's message has just right amount of theory backed by summarized research, stories that help demonstrate the theoretical application, and practical guidelines to follow to improve emotional functioning.

Many readers/listeners may come to this book during a time of struggle, which of course if perfectly fine, and this book will likely help the struggling person get through that difficulty. However, if that's the path that leads you to read this, you should revisit the material once you've made it through that struggle or started to improve. It's likely that you will interpret, apply, and learn from the material in a way that is specific and focused on the problem you were dealing with. That path is healthy and undoubtedly helpful, but there's so much more value to get from "Emotional Agility" than that.

"Emotional Agility" is a fantastic tool for learning how to fully appreciate and process emotional experiences that can become chronic and demoralizing over time if left unchecked. Dr. David's discussion of "bottling" and "brooding" is particularly helpful here. She walks the reader/listener through how this works in a variety of settings (i.e. work, home, school, romantic relationships, parent-child relationships, and in specific events or critical incidents). My wife and I have come to understand that if we use "Emotional Agility" as a kind of ongoing emotional and mental maintenance program, we continuously improve our abilities to handle difficult emotional experiences in stride no matter in what setting they occur.

First responders (police, fire, EMS, dispatchers, corrections) should absolutely invest the time to read/listen to this material. I firmly believe it will help members of the public safety profession keep from developing burn-out and chronic stress associated with the experiences that public safety professionals are exposed to. Like continuing education, public safety professionals should incorporate "Emotional Agility" into at least an annual refresher.

My wife and I highly recommend "Emotional Agility," but don't just read/listen to it once!

17 people found this helpful

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sqwirk

Explains the "why" but could go deeper on the "how"

Reviewed in the United States on October 30, 2016

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I wanted to love this book, but I only just liked it. I got some good pieces of information out of it, but nothing too revolutionary. The biggest takeaway is something I knew already but something that was good to read in the way the author presented it, and that's the fact that negative emotions aren't bad to have. You can learn from them and use them to guide you to living a life that's more in tune with your values and soon you'll feel less negative emotions once you're operating all on the same frequency with yourself. I wanted this book to go deeper, though. I felt the explanations of how to do something, how to help yourself really get unstuck, stopped short.

An issue I personally have is knowing what my values are...I just simply don't know them. It would have been nice if this book gave a bit more detail as to how one might be able to figure out their values, besides trial and error and listening to their emotional feedback. I value things but don't act on them, and I'm not sure if those are still things I actually value. Maybe they're just things I'd like to value, but it'd take a super big change in character for me to act on those values and I'm not sure how to do that (this book didn't help with that). Since I'm focused on those as my values, I'm ignoring whatever the hell my real values are. But without those values in place, I don't know what I'm left with. Maybe I'm a terrible person who doesn't value much? Who knows, I don't.

Labeling emotions was a helpful exercise that I took away from this book; it's good to not place blame or judgment with how you feel and let things just *be* what they are without trying to force them into something else. That said, I read this book because I know changes need to happen in my life and while I'm not going to try to force those changes, I'm still not 100% sure how to solidly guide myself into those changes. I'm well-versed with mindfulness and I know that a big element of suffering is our human tendency to attach expectations to things, and letting go of those expectations is important. Emotional Agility touches upon this, but I felt the author could again go further in explaining how one can let go. There can be a lot of emotional trauma and history that leads one to hold onto something for dear life, even if it's hurting them to do so and they're aware of that (such as a past love that has no chance of being mended back into a relationship). But just being able to let go doesn't magically happen when you know that you should do it and why you should it (but oh, how I wish that were all it took).

If a workbook based on this book was released, that would probably be extremely helpful for people, such as myself, who are still feeling stuck. I know the actions to take but I'm still weary on how to take those actions. Even if I know what step one is, I might not know how to get to step one or act upon my motivation to get myself there. There's a missing link, a disconnect, between where I'm currently at and how to start with what I want to change and embrace to ease my daily suffering with things. This is most likely my fault, not the author's fault, but if the author was willing to put together a workbook to expand on this book, I would surely purchase it. Something to get the ball rolling and help me build up the momentum of being able to get unstuck.

This book has great ideas in it, it makes sense, it just didn't get me in a position where I could do something with that information. Still a good read, and I recommend it for anywhere looking for a place to start if they're feeling like the world is against them and they can't keep their head above water.

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Dominika Brzoza

Gut geschrieben

Reviewed in Germany on January 21, 2024

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Tolles Buch. Gut geschrieben.

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Abhishek G Nair

A Bible on Emotional Intelligence

Reviewed in India on March 10, 2023

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Books on Emotional Intelligence like "Emotional Agility" are rare- they are well-researched, contain relatable and teachable stories, some from personal experience, and provide a guide to effectively relate with our emotions and use them to live our values. A thoroughly rewarding read.

Emma De Saint Martin

Un bon livre

Reviewed in France on February 18, 2022

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Pour développer son intelligence émotionnelle, c'est un livre à lire. Clair et concis. Dès fois, j'aimerais plus de détails ou de méthodologie pour présenter des solutions, mais la narration est ordonnée et c'est bien argumenté.

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Alex

Simply amazing how one book can have such an effect on one's whole world!

Reviewed in Canada on October 16, 2018

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Simply put, this book has changed my life in serendipitous, awe-inspiring, amazing, fantastic, remarkable and lasting ways.

I had been let go from my company and taking it all personally, begrudging the entire corporate world and blaming myself for not being able to fit in. A terrible time of brooding and "negative" emotions which I was trying desperately to make "positive" as we are wont to do.

By sheer force of universal attraction, spending my days at the local library as a means to make a better working routine for myself, I was greeted with this book on display in the self-improvement section.

What possessed me to pick it up and start reading it? I was hooked by the introduction as it described my present circumstances to a T.

This book has enabled me to breathe again, to be free to feel again, to know my feelings and embrace them in ways I had not ever believed were possible.

Get off the sadness-happiness continuum and welcome fear, anger, disgust, contempt, shame, guilt and envy back into your life! You will be so glad you did. I can't possibly put it into words, but these so-called "negative" emotions help us to no end! They help to guide our course as we navigate the often bizarre and arduous waters of the corporate ocean and the narrow yet convoluted rivulets of the family relationships we seemingly can't budge.

Learn how to understand your feelings, thoughts and instincts, how to get unstuck and create healthy growth habits. It's the very way to live and grow as a human being, the foundation of one's identity and interactions with others.

Buying my second or third copy, would care to give one to every person I know and often have conversations in public that start with "you know, human emotions are the most misunderstood and helpful qualities we possess yet we shun them and treat them as unwanted baggage -- they're evolutionary adaptations that have brought us such advantage we all carry them with us until the present day!

Buy this book and read the intro -- I guarantee it'll change the way you live for the better

Buy a second copy for someone in your life you care for and read them the first few pages

Learn to connect with higher values and intellect and to 'walk your why' as a means to make it to your destination -- welcome and be welcomed by the whole glorious world

Best wishes from Toronto, Canada!

18 people found this helpful

JORGE SERRANO FALCONI

Emocional agility

Reviewed in Mexico on October 5, 2018

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Es un libro muy enriquecedor, te permite ver el mundo en un tono más real en donde lo bueno y lo malo coexisten. Tener la comprensión, pragmática y disposición de aceptar eso no siempre es fácil, pero si necesario para poder disfrutar más de la vida.
Recomiendo el libro a profesionales de la salud y a todos aquellos que quieren ser más reales, con tristezas, alegrías, penas, logros. A los padres que se preocupan por criar buenos hijos, espero los ayude a encontrar en ese camino tal difícil que es la crianza y que como todo en la vida, no viene con un instructivo

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