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First Friday: How virginity almost killed me
WINNER of the Independent Press Award! The comedy that turns into a thriller. Agnes Anne O’Neil, 28 and still living at home, mounts a five point plan of escape from her ultra Catholic parents. Thwarted by bad memories of a high school attack by the guy who became her brother-in-law, she is plagued by a stutter, an unfortunate nose, and low self-esteem. Nevertheless, her brother-in law is besotted. He now claims he married the wrong sister. Ignoring Bruno’s advances and his fixation with her virginity, Agnes prays to the Virgin Mary for guidance and strength and bravely works toward her goals. But after each part of her plan is enacted and she becomes better looking, the harassment gets worse. And when she begins to date a nice Jewish accountant, her parents explode and lecherous Bruno can’t control his jealousy. We applaud Agnes’ transformation, but can it happen fast enough to save her from her scheming brother-in-law?
“Hartmann masterfully spins a murderous tale while engaging us with the inner-workings of a zany Irish-American family. Well done!” –Suzanne Tyrpak, author of Vestal Virgin: Suspense in Ancient Rome